Boogers

I’ve done a lot of shit in my life. I used to think I could change the entire world, which was more than a bit of conceit. I can honestly say that there is nothing that I’ve ever done that compares to being a dad. Nothing even comes close.

Yesterday, Hank cried for three hours after getting his bottle and would not stop crying unless me or Robyn held him. I don’t know what was wrong with him, maybe he was just having a bad day. Little fucker probably didn’t know what was wrong himself except that he didn’t feel right. I mean, he can’t talk. He’s a baby; he doesn’t know shit.

Prime example:

He was crying again this morning and his nose sounded a little stopped up so I sucked some boogers out and he was fine. It’s like diagnostics with automotive customers on their car. They don’t know shit about it or even what things are called, but they know something’s not right.

Yes, automotive repair customers are basically babies.

Anyway, Hank doesn’t know what a booger is. He can’t fucking talk. But, here’s the cool thing. I get to teach him what a booger is and what a foot is and what a 4Runner is and what a politician is and that they’re not to be trusted any further than you can throw them.

There is a special spiritual aspect to teaching in that it is a profoundly human process that enriches both the teacher and the student. It’s a shared journey and I’m sharing this journey with an infant at the beginnings of consciousness, which is miraculous and sacred.

In conclusion, stop all the bullshit you’re doing, get a dumb job, and raise some kids.